Seriously, What Now?

The crossroads I am currently at may be the greatest of my life. Not “greatest” meaning “best” or “most important,” but “greatest” meaning “largest.” Large enough, I think, to justify a pretty big metaphor.

In the past, I have usually had to choose my next step after completing some kind of milestone, such as a degree or a contract. Most of those times, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do next. When I finished high school, for instance, there was very little chance I was going anywhere other than university. When I finished university, I knew I wanted to go to both Spain and New Zealand; when I’d done the first, I knew I was going to the next as soon as possible.

Those intersections were a bit like the one described in the only Robert Frost poem I can quote, the one about two roads diverging in a wood. I wouldn’t like to claim that I’ve always taken the road less traveled by, because that would mean I’d be ending a sentence with a preposition. And also it’s not true. I do think, however, that the roads available to me have always been distinct from one another, and that I have always had a clear preference. When I chose to go to New Zealand, for instance, I knew that if I didn’t go, I would always be looking for a chance to do so in the future. So I went, and it “made all the difference.”

Now, having completed my Master’s degree, I’m at another crossroads. For a variety of reasons, this one feels less like a choice between paths in the woods and more like deciding where to go from the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.

The Arc de Triomphe stands in the middle of a roundabout/rotary that connects 12 – count ‘em – 12 different streets. Paris was heavily rebuilt in the 1800s (thank you, planning education), meaning each tree-lined street has similarly gorgeous architecture. Although the Champs-Elysées is wider than the others, all the options look pretty good and relatively similar at first glance.  

Part of me wishes I was back in the woods, choosing between a few dirt paths. But if my current situation is like standing on top of the Arc de Triomphe, I can consider myself pretty lucky. 

Me standing on top of the Arc de Triomphe, more youthful and less metaphorical.